Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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