I puked a lego.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
