Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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