honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
