i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
