she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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