No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
