the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
