It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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