I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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