I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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