piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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