I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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