I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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