Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
