Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
