I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
