just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I could make wine with my vomit
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
