Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Your dad touched me again.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
