im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
