was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
