CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize