Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
