If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
MIDGETS
????
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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