Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
