It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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