you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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