at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
