Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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