I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
