I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
