thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You can't motorboat a personality
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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