she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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