no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
