The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
