Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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