I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
