Old men and throwing up are my life now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
