i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
