so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
