PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
