is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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