Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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