apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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