therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
