i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
