gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
