Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
