dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
