how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
