dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
